Today 7HUMC students spent time checking in on the second drafts of their personal narratives, that had been peer edited. These narratives are part of a major assignment tied to the first unit of work for them called “What is Identity?” On Tuesday, students demonstrated their total absorption in reading each other’s work. They then took sticky notes to write a GLOW comment (something well done) and a GROW comment (something that could be improved upon). It was great seeing them pour over the comments that gave them feedback about their narratives.
Below I have included excerpts from several writers. Although there’s still editing to be done on these pieces, the narratives themselves are helping us as a class, to get to know one another well. The pieces below demonstrate some of the strategies that students are now independently using, as they write: For example, building tension, strong imagery, use of dialogue, revealing inner thinking, sharing perspective on important issues, humour in the face of a difficult situation, carrying a theme through a story.
“I was walking towards the swings when I saw a shadow behind me. I quickly turned around, but nobody was there. I checked my phone – 10:15, *Bing*!” (BUILDING TENSION)
“It’s too early!” I groaned, as my Mum pulled the bedsheets with which I was trying to cover my head, in a futile attempt to prolong my stay in bed.” (IMAGERY – We can SEE this scene)
“He screamed “MOM! DAD!”
“WHAT?” They both responded
“I made a dream that made me see that you mean a lot to me.” (DIALOGUE, revealing INNER THINKING)
“When someone asks a Korean student, “What is your dream?” most of them said “I don’t know.”
Student have to make their dream, life, their way. I want student know study is not all of their life. “Student!! Cheer up!” (LIFE PERSPECTIVE< INNER THINKING)
“Well…new kids aren’t supposed to hang out with us.”
“Go find the ayis who clean those nasty toilets to play with you. Now shoo! You hear me?!”
I was so shock by her response that I actually went to one of the ayis and said “Hello…”
(HUMOR in the face of a difficult situation)
“I stare at the red light, thinking about the gold trophy. Then I hear a very loud voice
screaming, “READY? SET? GO!”
I slammed my foot on the accelerator, smelling all the smoke coming out of the tires.”
(SPEEDING UP text to BUILD TENSION.) (IMAGERY)
“No, I REFUSE to take orders from a three year old,” she said as she turned her back on me.
That was it. The girl had crossed the line.
“I”M FOUR!” I screamed, as I pounced on her head.
“Leave my brother alone!” I said, while pulling wads of hair off her head.”
( SENSE OF HUMOR, CARRYING THE THEME OF not THREE, but FOUR through the narrative)
The last photos show Matteo, Andy and Alex hard at work revising their cards for the digital storytelling project called “If You Really Knew Me.”